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What Would Mother Do? by Andrea Williams
Most of us are touched by mothers as we move through our days; pity that we rarely take the time to consider and appreciate the skills of motherhood outside of the annual May recognition.
I don't always think of the women in my life in their exalted maternal role. I'm usually more aware of their other fine gifts as I regularly benefit from their humor, experience, and unique take on life. But mothers are ever-present in my life.
Mothers are the first to teach us to value relationships. Mine explained why I should forgive Carol for pulling my hair so hard at age 6, and why it's important to write "thank-you" notes. Even now, when in-person visits with my mother are infrequent, I "hear" her guide me in situations with others that generate stress, conflict, or concern.
So, using the holiday as a guide for improving the relationships in our lives, thank you "MOTHER"!
M is for... Monitor how your relationships are working and don't take them for granted. You never really know what another person is thinking and feeling, but paying close attention-being truly present-and asking questions will inform the current state of your union. Taking the pulse of your bond from time to time can keep small slights or oversights from blossoming into resentments and distance.
O is for... Focus on the "Other" in the relationship. Maybe you don't feel as if you are being heard or that your needs are being met. Mmmm... are you listening? Do you really hear what the other person has to say? Try spending one conversation exploring what the other half of your relationship is up to; what are your companion's goals, dreams, difficulties?
T is for... Take a breather. Time may not heal all wounds, but it is the right salve for softening hurts and providing perspective. Take the time you need to process thoughts and feelings, before blurting them all over the dining room table.
H is for... Honoring your differences. When you feel as if the other person simply won't get it, try to give space to the idea that not seeing things in just the same way may be okay. It could be even better than okay. Does your partner have a point of view that might help you move past your own blind spots or provide a path to move you forward?
E is for... Enjoy what does work in your relationship. It is quite rare to find the one true soul mate who fulfills our every need and completely understands all of our desires. Beyond taking responsibility for your own good mood and fortune, celebrate the truly miraculous wonder of friendship and kinship.
R is for... Remember the good times. Much of our best and closest relationships is moored in ongoing trust and shared experience. We're able to jump right into the thick of it with ties we see infrequently, because of deep knowing and acceptance. Stay in touch with those who aren't part of your regular swirl of your activities.
The events of our lives bind us and produce memories to be cherished. Nurture your relationships, just as our mothers counseled. You want those memories to be sweet.
About the Author
Andrea Williams, personal and small business success coach, is the creator of the Fearless, Fabulous Project, a 12-week, step-by-step discovery and rejuvenation process to help you gain clarity and commitment about what is most important to you. If you're ready to pump your life with more fun & fulfillment, check out Andrea's coaching programs and resources now at http://www.FearlessFabulousLife.com and sign up for "Fearless, Fabulous Female," her free ezine on personal reinvention at midlife.
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